On a fateful winter quarter day, the members of the UCLA marching band were charged with the following mission: to eliminate other band members through trickery, schemes, and lies for the sole purpose of gaining eternal glory. In other words, the Directors of Band Activities (DOBA) of Psi and EK announced the start of Band Assassins 2020!
The rules of Band Assassins are simple. After signing up to play the game, each band member receives a target. To assassinate their target, the player must place a sticker directly onto the target. Placing the sticker on the target’s instrument case, backpacks, or any other belonging is not acceptable. Once the target has been eliminated, the player must report the success to the gamemasters to receive their next target. Players are reminded that anywhere in Schoenberg Music Building is a “safe zone”, wherein a kill may not take place. Players are also reminded that a kill is only acceptable if less than four UCLA marching band members are in the general vicinity at the time (the assassin, the target, and two others).
By January 30th, eighty members of the marching band had signed up for the game – willingly subjecting themselves to weeks of suspicion, paranoia, and a reasonable amount of fear. On February 1st, the game began.
Immediately, band member turned against band member. Rivalries and alliances formed. Tensions grew as players doubted who they could trust. The first target eliminated was Marco Cornelio, a first year member of BOOT, assassinated by Johnny Urosevic, a third year member of BOOT. Such treachery within one section was unheard of! (As of this round of assassins).
There were plenty of assassins this year who eliminated targets like it was going out of style. To name a few, first year trumpet Sydney Myers eliminated four of her targets. Third year Zachary Judson of the alto sax section also took out four band members. Garret Henkle, a third year trumpet section leader, also managed to take out four targets in his self-guided quest to eliminate Drum Major Matthew Espinoza (who was eliminated before Garrett could get to him). Though these three assassins played a good game, they were overshadowed by freshman trumpet Cam Uy, with a total of eight kills.
However, the game took a turn. At the end of Band Assassins Round 1, Cam Uy was taken out by Carrie Appel, a third year member of the colorguard. As the weeks went on, another round of Band Assassins came to a close. By the beginning of the third round, only four players were left in the game.
The crowned winner of Band Assassins 2020 was a band member who played the long game. She waited for the right moments to strike, and bided her time. She hails from a section that nearly went extinct, but has brought honor to her people by winning this year’s game. Adrianna Vree, a first year tenor sax player, conquered seventy-nine other band members this year and captured the eternal glory every Band Assassin participant dreams of. We congratulate Adrianna, and thank the brave band members who risked their sanity to participate in Band Assassins 2020.